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10/03/2005
All right. Thank you. I get the fucking point.
Some of you have joined me somewhat later in the game and, as such, may just be assuming that I am infertile. Actually, at this point at least, I'm not. Hal and I decided to begin trying to conceive in December of 2004, so we're actually not at the 1-year mark yet. We are, however (as of yesterday), on our 14th cycle, and with each month that passes, we begin to get less surprised and yet more disappointed by the results.
When we first began trying to conceive, I was worried that I'd get pregnant as fast as most people (you know, 3-5 months tops) and that I'd have to tread very, very lightly to avoid losing my (meager) readership. The first few months, I was actually somewhat relieved that I wouldn't have to think of a catchy yet humble title for a pregnancy post or go through the mental gymnastics involved in making sure that as few people as possible felt left out or offended by the big announcement. However, as the months passed (and we enter our 11th month of trying to conceive), I'm pretty much sick of it. I'll take that awkward pregnancy post. Anyday.
In December, I knew that getting pregnant could be difficult from months of reading infertility blogs, and I knew that infertile couples had insensitive comments thrown their way from every direction. I had learned that lesson from all of you. I didn't need to live it.
Why can't I trade these 14 cycles with a "clueless fertile" who got pregnant her first month and now, as a self-proclaimed fertility guru, proceeds to tell people exactly what position she used to create her little spawn?
(Anne tells Tim exactly what worked for her, The Office)
Anyway, my pity party has almost concluded. I am cognizant of the fact that most of you have endured much more than I on this road. I'm sure you won't be offended when I say that I'm afraid I just didn't want to join you.
14:10 Posted in My uterus, etc. | Permalink | Comments (15) | Email this
Comments
Whaa??? You mean you're just not ITCHING To become a member of the infertile bitch brigade? What's WRONG with you!
Posted by: Manuela | 10/03/2005
Don't belittle your anxiety and sadness. I think getting to that one year mark is one of the most difficult parts of the entire ordeal. Most of us have been there and we know how hard it is. But just because we've "been there, done that" doesn't mean you shouldn't be posting about it.
Here's to hoping for an 11th hour rescue from the ferry to infertility island.
Posted by: lindy | 10/03/2005
Hell, I don't want to be here either. Our two year mark is fast approaching and still don't want to be here.
Posted by: Jenn | 10/03/2005
We don't want you either. And I mean that in the best possible way. Disappointed right along with you.
Posted by: Nico | 10/03/2005
Just so you don't all think I'm a COMPLETELY insensitive bitch... I did also send darling Molly an email that was rather less sarcastic...
Posted by: manuela | 10/03/2005
Yes, please don't join us. You smell.
Seriously, if you did cross over to the other side your cynicism and sarcasm would increase even more, and just think of where we'd be then.
Posted by: MsPrufrock | 10/04/2005
All that and....it's your blog! Yours to toy with as you like! Mwa ha ha ha (evil infertile laughter from the dark side)...
No but you know...we feel the same way. I hope you don't make the one year. Frankly, that's way long enough.
Posted by: OvaGirl | 10/04/2005
Give yourself a break... trying for a almost year with nothing to show for it sucks. I know I felt that way when I hit the one year mark. Being funny, cool, smart and sensitive, you're just the kind of person we don't want in our club. Here's hoping that you don't even have to think about applying for membership.
Posted by: mm | 10/04/2005
I didn't want to join either. I hope you never have to.
Posted by: B. Mare | 10/04/2005
Damn those "clueless fertiles"!
Posted by: Cali | 10/04/2005
I don't think it's so much how long you've been trying, but how hard the road has been. I had the same feelings when I started out -- hell, you know, you were one of my first commenters -- and what I realized is that there's nothing magical about the one-year mark. # of negative pee sticks or OPKs? That matters. Months without any cycle at all? That matters. I-Spy sessions with the dildo-cam? Hours spent on fertilityfriend.com? # of times you've read the Evil TCOYF? # times you've thought, well, what if I get pregnant and lose it? As these things go, 365 days is a pretty meaningless number. Given that you've had 14 cycles of this shit, I think you probably meet the heartbreak quota for admission.
(At least, I hope so, because if we get all worried about the counting of days, I'm so kicked out of the infertile club.)
Posted by: Emma B | 10/04/2005
I don't know what you're talking about! I've gone through less than you and I am waaay bitchier about it. I hope the heartbrake ends soon.
Posted by: Sassy | 10/05/2005
I'm really sorry, Molly. Here's hoping your application to the-club-no-one-wants-to-belong-to-anyway is swiftly stamped DENIED.
Posted by: Alexa | 10/06/2005
Honey, none of us wants to be here. I'd do anything to be kicked out of this club (well, metaphorically speaking of course).
It's rough. It's really really rough.
But I too hope your heartbreak ends soon, and want to reiterate - it's o.k. to be upset. It's o.k. to feel sad.
Posted by: April | 10/06/2005
Hey Molly, I wish we could just vote you out of our crappy club and grab some clueless fertile on the street (preferable one who says "we weren't even planning to have a child this year, but oops hee hee") and force her to take your place.
So sorry. Bleh.
Posted by: Mary-Mia | 10/07/2005
The comments are closed.