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10/20/2006
Every Day is an Adventure
I’ve given you examples before of how my husband will suddenly say, in all seriousness, the most baffling things I’ve ever heard.
Some of my favorites that I haven’t mentioned before include his telling me what he would ever do if he was in jail to avoid being raped. Recent ideas include spreading a rumor that he has AIDS or sticking razor blades up his ass. Or, if he was ever on death row, he would eat a huge bowl of chili right before he was executed since people shit themselves after death and he would want the wardens to have to clean it up.
However, this morning’s exchange takes the cake:
Hal: Hey Molly?
Me: Yeah?
Hal: If you ever decide to kill me by poisoning me, tell the police who come to get the body that I’m Jewish. That way they’ll bury me that night and there won’t be time to perform an autopsy.
Me: So, wait . . . basically, you’ve just told me how to get away with your murder. Uh, why?
Hal: Because you’re my wife and I love you and I don’t want you to go to jail.
[pause]
Hal: But don’t kill me, please.
11:40 Posted in My Handsome Linguist | Permalink | Comments (12) | Trackbacks (0) | Email this
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Comments
You two absolutely kill me. I love it.
Another favorite is the detailed explanation of where he would murder someone and why this particular location was ideal. I also really like the bowl of chili one too.
Posted by: Natalie | 10/20/2006
I really like this guy.
Posted by: T | 10/20/2006
Makes you wonder why he thinks about you killing him in the first place...
Posted by: MsPrufrock | 10/20/2006
Aw, how sweet. Although, I think they could probably exhume him if they had to, so you're out of luck, Molly dear.
Posted by: electriclady | 10/21/2006
My husband is the same way with the weird shit coming out of his mouth. A lot of it is really just warped silly, but seriously, wtf?
Posted by: statia | 10/22/2006
I love Hal! Too funny!!!
Posted by: Nico | 10/22/2006
Fabulous! This is exactly the same kind of conversation I end up having with my husband- usually just as we're drifting off to sleep.
Him: Right...?
Me: mmf?
Him: If you had to wee on someone, who would it be?
Posted by: rockmamainwaiting | 10/23/2006
Dear Molly, I have to say I love the way your husband thinks!
Posted by: Kath | 10/24/2006
Absolutely adorable.
Posted by: Menita | 10/25/2006
Lurker here - just stumbled upon your blog today and I have to say you are so funny. I wish you luck conceiving and will check back for more funny stories.
Posted by: Kelly | 10/26/2006
. . . . hey, he's hella considerate. :-)
Posted by: waiting line | 10/29/2006
Hal . . . you just gotta love that guy.
Posted by: erin | 10/31/2006