Mollywogger - not_fit_for_human_consumption

Oh, and also . . .

noreply@blogspirit.com (Mollywogger) — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 12:13:16 -0500

Well. This should be fun. ***Updated

noreply@blogspirit.com (Mollywogger) — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 15:55:00 -0600

In-town buddy EJW has mentioned this, but I thought I’d say a few things about it as well. Evidently, the Reproductive Endocrinology Clinic at the University of Wisconsin Hospital (the only fertility clinic in the Madison area) is closing in June.

At first, news releases seemed to blame the upcoming closure on reorganization within the Hospital. However, the front page of today’s Wisconsin State Journal told an entirely different story. The clinic’s original plan was to move to a separate, non-campus location, but recent staff conflicts have ended that plan and convinced the Hospital to shut down the entire program. Staff conflicts. Sexual harassment, accusations of substandard care, inappropriate behavior with interns, etc. Can you believe it? It’s like something off of last fall’s ill-fated Inconceiveable.

This is incredibly frustrating for those of us living in the Madison area. Having a clinic on campus is so handy – the campus is a central location – the center of Madison, and the center of Dane County. The next-nearest fertility clinics are in Rockford, IL or Milwaukee. While a small clinic just opened on the East side of town, one that provides some treatment and monitoring (but not IVF or other related services), any other full-service fertility clinics are an hour and a half’s drive away.

I know that many of you have to drive for hours to get to your local clinics, and the prospect of a one and a half hour drive is not daunting. Perhaps we Madison residents have been spoiled. But, to me, the idea of a clinic closing due to staff conflicts (and thereby depriving a county of 450,000 people of fertility services) is just sickening.

Of course, I take sexual harassment seriously, and there should obviously be an inquiry into the current accusations and proper disciplinary action should be taken, blah blah blah. However. I’m disgusted. I’m disgusted that my fellow infertile sisters and brothers will be forced to use more sick leave, provide their employers with more excuses, spend less time with their families, and spend more money on gas because a few REs couldn’t agree that their problems were ultimately less important than providing fertility services to our community.

Updated:

EJW sends me news that the community has spoken and the clinic's staying put:

"Over the last two weeks, we have heard from our patients, employees, and the community about UWHC?s decision to close the IVF clinic and subsequently UWMF and UWSMPH?s decision to suspend plans to open an IVF facility. We have listened and understand the community believes strongly this service should not be interrupted.

We will continue to offer IVF and reproductive endocrinology services and have many practical issues to resolve, not the least of which are the faculty discord and the work climate. We will need a week or two to work on these issues before we can offer specifics but wanted to communicate our general commitment today.

Longer term, we will commit to relocating IVF to the Discovery Springs property as originally planned. We will sign the lease and plan for the relocation of the service. Between our short and longer-term plans, we intend the service to be continuously offered.

We thank those who have invested so much of themselves in being heard. The opinions expressed have caused us to reevaluate and understand the imperative of continuing."

Woo hoo!

Better than Ipecac

noreply@blogspirit.com (Mollywogger) — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 09:55:00 -0600

Is it just me, or did anyone else barf onto their shoes after watching the latest Chrysler Pacifica ad?

To recap: 6 glamorous women are shown driving somewhere fancy in a Chrysler Pacifica. The glamorous woman driving climbs out of the driver’s seat, hands her keys over to the twenty-something blonde male valet, and murmurs (in a disturbingly sexual tone), “You’ll take good care of my baby, won’t you?” Pull back to a full body shot, and it turns out that the glamorous woman is sporting a compact, glamorous pregnant belly! Oh, ha ha! Was she referring to her CAR or her FETUS?! Ha ha!

The kicker: her 5 glamorous friends climb out of the Chrysler Pacifica, and guess what?! They’re all sporting compact, glamorous pregnant bellies as well! Ha ha!

Voiceover: “The Chrysler Pacifica. Seats 6 comfortably – or 12, depending on how you look at it.”

Ha ha! Because they’re all pregnant! Ha ha!

*barf*

I'm like one of those old ladies with 37 cats

noreply@blogspirit.com (Mollywogger) — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 11:25:00 -0600

Have I mentioned lately that my body is trying to collect as many non-life-threatening-yet-annoying-as-shit diagnoses as it possibly can? I have blogged previously about the chronic migraines, the Seasonal Affective Disorder, and the kidney stones, but I'm not sure if I've mentioned the TMJ disorder, the for-no-apparent reason very easily infected sebaceous cysts, the eczema, or the Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Well, yeah, I'm a mess. Isn't it fun to be me? I'm not even going to mention that a small mountain range of acne has hatched itself on my chin lately, and it's starting to frighten people.

The IBS is just a constant pain in the ass (heh). I don't so much get the "IBS with constipation" variety that they advertise with all of those people who are pleased to let millions of Americans view their abdomens -- more the EXACT OPPOSITE: what I term "IBS with ANAL LEAKAGE." Seriously, I have diarrhea 3-4 times a week. It's gotten to be a given: if I go to a friend's house and eat a good-sized meal, after about 20 minutes you'll see a blurry streak as I haul ass to the bathroom. I'm warning you, Alexa -- you better have lots of toilet paper ready this weekend, and it wouldn't hurt to have a trusty plunger as well. Does Ikea sell plungers? You'd might as well have one that matches your decor.

The migraines, I'm pleased to say, seem to be under control lately. I think that I've finally found the triggers: lack of sleep, caffeine, and artificial sweeteners. I got off caffeine about 3 years ago (it was really easier than I thought it would be, even though my favorite soda used to be Dr. Pepper and I still crave it with all of my being at times). It was just recently that I discovered that artificial sweeteners are a problem for me.

I had heard that aspartame could cause headaches, courtesy of the organic goddess Jo. While a study done by the fine folks at aspartame.org denied that there was any correlation whatsoever (a study that other sources refuted), I decided to do my own personal study (something about the fact that one of the byproducts of metabolism of aspartame was FORMALDEHYDE freaked me out a bit – call me crazy). Since cutting diet sodas and other artificial-sweetener-containing products out of my diet, my headaches have lessened from 4-5 days a week to maybe 1 or 2 days tops. It’s fantastic! There have been moments when I decided to test my hypothesis, especially while visiting my parents, and try a bottle of the high-tech low-carb caffeine-free Splenda-containing energy drinks that my sister drinks. Devastating results every time. 2-3 day migraines, aversion to light and sound, the whole shebang. No fun.

I’ve heard that sucralose (Splenda) is technically supposed to be better for you since it is not actually metabolized by your body and just passes through your system, unlike aspartame. However, I’ve found that I end up with the same headaches no matter what type of artificial sweetener I use. Interesting.

The one thing that I haven’t given up, however, is my aspartame- and sucralose-containing Orbit gum. In Sweetmint. I figure that the levels are pretty trvial in gum, and that a piece or 2 a day can’t hurt. I’ve tried the crispy crunchy all-natural gums from Whole Foods, but they frankly lose their all-natural flavoring within the first 5 minutes of chewing.

Also, gum is the culprit of my TMJ disorders. Yes, you heard me correctly – I’m willing to sacrifice my health for the sweet, minty taste of Orbit. No matter what!

Anyway, enough about my health. Have I mentioned that I’m meeting 4 of you in 3 days? Oh, I have? Perhaps because I’m looking forward to it to a truly obsessive degree. And the mojitos.

So, what’s up?

Do you throw 'em over your shoulder like a continental soldier?

noreply@blogspirit.com (Mollywogger) — Fri, 26 Aug 2005 14:00:00 -0500

Hi friends, and thanks for the nice birthday wishes. Big slobbery tongue kisses to all.

*ahem*

You know how even the most open people in the world (you know about my "intimate moisture", for Christ's sake) have topics that just don't get mentioned, for various reasons? I think it's time to climb stop our trusty steeds and scale the heights of one of those unmentionable . . . um . . . mounds. I am not the first blogger to attempt this, mind you, but I humbly follow in her footsteps.

A while ago, Jo (the new mom!) over at the Leery Polyp did a post in reference to what she so affectionately called "Sex Rags", and asked about what those readers who engage in "condomless male-female sex" did to handle post-sex cleanup. We all do something, whether it's the "clench-and-run" (also known as "drip-'n'-dash") or the "kleenex-box-by-the-bed-that's-not-for-the-nasal-type-of-mucous" method, but who has actually sat down and discussed it with their friends? Did any of your actually think about this before you first had sex? In movies, didn't it seem like everything was just sucked into the vacuum that was the woman's willing loins, and no one had to roll into a wet spot? I endlessly thank Jo for opening this important dialogue.

I will now continue said dialogue. Topic of discussion?

Nipple hair.

(LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE IT.)

Now, I am one of the least hairy beings on earth, and I've got it. So, surely, everyone does.

How do you deal with it? Pluck 'em? Let 'em grow? Can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow?

Anyway, I'm just wondering. And I know that, should no one else answer my question, Manuela will. How do I know? She writes posts like this.

Now, to purify our minds so that we can go forth into the world thinking lovely, wholesome, non-prurient thoughts, early congratulations are in order for dear Laurie who will be induced tomorrow and welcome her little Bookworm, conceived during her third IVF cycle. Congrats, Laurie and Mike!

P.S. - I pluck 'em.